Stupid Fly!
by Durbe the Barian
Summary: Heartland is annoying. Everybody knows that. But two Barians are about to point out just how annoying he really is...with a death wish!


**Zexal Oneshot**

**Stupid Fly!**

**Humor**

**Durbe/Miseal/Heartland**

**Heartland is annoying. Everybody knows that. But two Barians are about to point out just how annoying he really is...with a death wish!**

**(If I owned this, the Barians would have done this before he changed back.)**

**A/N To those who read this and wondered about the name at the bottom, my apologies. I use a different username somewhere else and that's what I type down. Sorry again, and enjoy.**

Stupid Fly!

Going to the Human World; that was a good idea.

They were able to get the Numbers from Yuma just a tad bit easier. That, and it was much more bearable than watching their world fall while they could do nothing.

Bringing Heartland of all bugs with them – Not such a good idea.

In fact, it was their absolute worst.

From the moment they hid themselves in Gilag's old hideout, Heartland was nothing if not annoying. Emphatically so, in fact. Several times, Gilag had broken his alarm clock because Heartland had landed on his nose. Then Durbe was stuck with bringing the damaged item to the electronics store to get it repaired. And every time the repairman took a look at the hand-like dent in the metal, he looked like he was about to ask questions about the nature of the break. Thank goodness Durbe was a naturally good actor, otherwise, it might have gotten ugly.

Very quickly.

And then the Emperors started wondering why Durbe started drinking more coffee as well as taking a strange human medicine. (Aspirin, Alit believed he called it.)

Then came the day when Durbe just had enough.

Alit got out of his bedroom to the sound of an extremely high pitched scream. Way too high to be a girl but not low enough to be Gilag. Curious, he ran out of his room and into the kitchen, finding Durbe, without his glasses and still in his pajamas. He seemed to be pulling on something that was very tiny. "Durbe?" Alit asked. "Was that you that screamed?"

"No, it was this bug," Durbe answered, his voice bordering on growling. "I'm trying to kill it."

"Can't you just use a fly swatter?"

"No, it's too quick a death."

Durbe definitely meant business.

Alit advanced a little closer until he finally saw what it was he was trying to kill. Frankly, the glasses were a dead giveaway.

And Heartland **had** been asking for it for a long time now. "Um, Durbe, shouldn't we keep this guy alive?" Alit asked. "I mean, if we kill him, we won't be able to use his info to find the Numbers, right?"

Durbe paused. Then he let Heartland's wings go, allowing the bug to start buzzing again. "If I find him on my toothpaste again, I will personally send him through his worst nightmare."

"You're gonna stick him on an ice cube and stick the ice cube in the fridge again?" Alit asked.

"Much worse than that," Durbe growled.

Heartland didn't want to find out what he meant by 'worse.'

Not that he had a chance.

Miseal was up next.

Barely a week after the whole incident with Durbe, the latter returned from grocery shopping to hear the same high pitched screaming. "Oh, please," Durbe mumbled. "Not today."

Then he walked into the 'living room' (By living room, I mean the room with the TV that Gilag destroyed.) and found Miseal doing the same thing Durbe himself had done.

He was pulling Heartland's wings off. "You little rodent with wings!" Miseal shouted. "I'm gonna rip off your wings and stick 'em on flypaper!"

"What did he do this time?" Durbe asked, rubbing his forehead to battle the rising headache. "Screamed 'Fly Burning' while you were taking a nap?"

"Worst than that!" Miseal shouted. "He hid himself in my deck and started looking at my Numbers. It's like he was trying to find out my weaknesses."

Durbe sighed. "Put him down, Miseal."

"What?!"

"I don't blame you for wanting him dead," Durbe said. "Even I want to kill him."

"What?!" Heartfly asked in total disbelief.

"However, Alit was correct when he said we'd lose any information to find the Numbers. And following Tsukumo would do us no good. Not to mention, it's dishonorable."

"Durbe," Miseal growled.

"Just be patient," Durbe continued. "When we've finished collecting the Numbers, you can do what you want with him."

"What?!" Heartfly repeated, a lot more 'whiny' this time.

"Sounds good to me," Miseal said. "Then let's make it a competition. After we've collected the Numbers, the first one to get to him gets to rip his wings off."

Heartland was freaking out by that point. "Surely, even Durbe would be generous and not make such a deal," he thought.

Maybe Heartland should have remembered that he had insanely bad luck.

Durbe thought about it for a moment before chuckling. "Sounds interesting," he said. "I think I'll accept."

"WHAT!?"

"But I must say, Alit's starting to rub off on you, Miseal," Durbe concluded. "Usually, you don't gamble."

"Let's just say the prize is what entices me," Miseal said.

Oh, yes. Heartland was in for a mess of trouble!

**D.T.B: It should be obvious by now that I hate Heartland. However, when he's in trouble or doing something just plain stupid, I always get a good laugh. So I got to thinking, "What would happen if he got more annoying then Vector?" Your guess, my laugh, his suffering. Byebye.**


End file.
